Marathon Training Journal: Week Three

Week 3:
Monday.
Run 1, type: Just getting out the door!! 2km Run/walk with M.

I got home late this evening. I stayed late at uni doing work then got on the wrong train on my way home. I relaxed for a bit after getting in. I had to give myself a bit of a talking to about running this evening. I’ve been slacking off a bit, if I’m honest. I know I’ve been a bit unstable but if I’m going to get close to stable again, running and exercise is a big piece of that puzzle within what that picture looks like for me.

I can give myself excuses as much as I like. I’m only cheating myself. I can take in my lies of not having time and feeling weak and I’ll go later/tomorrow/on Monday. The thing is though, if I’m going to progress to a level of fitness that the marathon requires then I’m going to have to stop letting myself accept my excuses. I need to be real and honest with myself – and sometimes that means looking in the mirror and giving myself a reality talk.

So despite it being past midnight I went. I also delivered some keys that I needed to drop off that I wouldn’t have managed that day either had I not gone. The enjoyment of running with a friend helped with my motivation, which means that I need to prioritize running crew in my weekly schedule. I miss those guys and the only reason I’ve not been for a while is myself.

Wednesday:
Run 2, Race: Run in the Dark 5K

Again I was struggling with mojo. I had a race and the idea of it was starting to build up in my mind and make me anxious. I got to the start line because someone was coming to support and cheer me. We were going to hang out after and the next day, and by the time I left it to potentially pull out I knew they’d be on their way – and their journey was longer than mine. Also, my house was nowhere near Battersea Park unfortunately – Hai millionaires land.

The race took a while to start. Once we began though I got a bit excited and started off quite fast. I did achieve my fastest km to date on Strava – yay mini PB! After a while I had to settle in and go slower because ya know, just because I’m looking at longer races that doesn’t mean 5km can be sprinted 🙈

I settled in although had a few hang ups. I had crampy calves and I had been feeling permanently slightly dehydrated for a few days. I hadn’t run for a few days. I hadn’t been eating particularly nutritious food. I felt it. I felt the consequences of having not eaten particularly well for a couple of weeks. I felt the consequences of not addressing my hydration early on. I think if you’re having signs of dehydration there is no waste in using a re-hydration tab, even if you just use half of one to make sure everything is on track. I will bare this in mind in the future.

The beauty of this being a journey is that you win some and you learn some. You don’t lose, you learn. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to do dumb stuff when I’m training and in each dumb act there is a lesson to learn to be a little less dumb in the future.

There’s a quote image I saw that sais “fall in love with the process and the results will come”. I think this is actually very true – and I am slowly learning more than I knew before yet I know that I have SO MUCH yet to learn. There are so many mistakes out there waiting for me to make them, and for me to learn from them. This race was one of those – if not this whole week.

Friday:
Gym session

I packed for the gym today last night. I got everything ready to get up, eat porridge and go. Getting out the door wasn’t quite as seamless as that. I did however make it to the gym – which is am improvement on only going for yoga classes. I’m enjoying the yoga classes but they’re not going to do the trick alone. I need to graft on strengthening and conditioning if I’m going to see myself strong enough to complete 26.2 miles in april.

And shit, April!? That’s very soon in the grand scheme of things.

I am feeling a new wave of motivation at the moment which is very welcome. There are some things I need to learn and master within myself. I need to harbour the power of people in my training. I think training with other people who I can eventually call friends will be a  very important lesson for me. Not only in terms of my fitness goals because I think running and climbing provide a perfect opportunity for me to work on many aspects of my life that I feel I need to work on – such as discipline, sticking to plans, talking to nw people without internally losing my mind whilst my stomachs convulses in a violent version of the butterflies from anxiety that feels more like fireworks erupting in my torso.

Fitness gives me a lot – it teaches me a lot about myself and other people. It’s something I need to prioritize because when I am active I always feel better for it.

Saturday:
Box Hill Tough 10 race. I wrote a whole post about this yesterday.

Sunday:
My first time going to a trendy class in London. I haven’t been to an up market gym like this before – I also wrote a lot about this in yesterday’s post. I was surprised by just HOW HARD this class was. Wow! Just wow!

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Marathon Training Journal: Week Two

Week 2

Run 1: 45 mins easy

Weather: sunny, crisp a bit chilly but very beautiful weather. My favourite for running in.

10:39 – this morning I woke up more ready for the day ahead and to train. I had mentally prepared myself for the last 2-3 days to try and pick myself up again despite my low mood, intrusive imagery replays in my mind and feeling very disturbed by the imagery and visions in my mind.

I planned everything in my new Filofax and have decided it is important to rest and schedule time to really do nothing productive: play ps3 or just chill and watch tv or listen to music.

I have been trying to make every day as productive as possible due to all the lost time to my mental health – and I think this has backfired on me in finding myself heavily overwhelmed and therefore even less productive.

I thought about this a lot during my run today. I listened to the album by TENDER as sometimes more chilled music can help me relax into the run and give me what feels like theta wave thinking space. I’m speculating based on a recent lecture. It’s on the list of things to read into out of interest.

This is the kind of run that helps me to feel rejuvenated with clearer thinking and more able to face the day. I don’t know the science behind this right now and for as much as I’d like to know I’m ready to face what I actually have to do today.

Saturday Yoga:

I went to the yoga class. The past week has been quite chaotic and haphazard at best. So I’ve not managed to get myself to the gym or for a run. I felt able to go to my class on Saturday though. It is across he road and with one of my favourite instructors at the gym so her personality in leading the class really is a great motivation that draws me back regularly to that class.

I found my body remained very uncoordinated. In poses that I’m usually fine and very stable at I was wobbling and unable to get my balance. It was much harder because of this so I downgraded a lot of the poses to have a supporting knee.

The fact that I was in the class, trying and I stayed for the whole hour was enough of an achievement for me to be pleased with myself. By the end I did feel slightly more aligned with my body. Even walking felt less alien and mechanical. The class also helped me pause the thoughts and my mind. She practices and talks about the power of breath and breathing- I really needed that this week.